The start of our new journey

I might post on here from time to time with adoption related thoughts, but for the most part, everything I post from here on out will be about our family so, I'll post it to our family blog. Feel free to follow along ;)

The Roberts House

Home

We're home and everything has been amazing so far! I'll post more when/if my 2 wild little men take a nap!

In HIS time

Carter was born on Christmas Eve, but Kwasi seems to be our real holiday baby.

I first met him on MY BIRTHDAY
We passed court on ST. PATRICK'S DAY
Chris met him on the 4TH OF JULY
and as we got closer and closer, I just KNEW our pick-up trip would be over LABOR DAY.

I knew it so much that I bought our tickets so, I was happy, but depressed when I was told that his visa would be ready September 9th. It struck me that it just wasn't right. It honestly did not make sense to me. I had planned that it would be this holiday weekend I know things "happen for a reason" but it just hit this mama hard that this was.not.right.

Reluctantly, I changed our tickets. Paid the $250 change fee for mine (got lucky on Chris') and that was that. My labor pains started as I waited for the 8th to come for us to fly to Ghana.

Then today... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!! I got an email from the embassy saying that his visa has been printed and it can be picked up THIS FRIDAY!!!! I grabbed a hold of my crazed self and started texting with Chris to see if we could go sooner. I was a madwoman looking at Delta flights and calling family members to watch Carter and Esinam while trying to get a hold of our POA to see about him picking up the visa. And then (dramatic pause) everything fell into place.

We are leaving Saturday morning to bring our son home! We will be back on Wednesday afternoon. That is a whole day before we would have even left! This will allow Chris to spend a whole week with us before going on his business trip.

Thank you, GOD! Lessoned learned. You are driving this bus and I shouldn't try to knock you out of the driver's seat even if you gave me the heads up that it would be this weekend. I should have patiently waited knowing you would get me where I needed to go and I could have saved $500 in change fees.

Whatever. We're going to get our son! Our holiday baby!

We're arriving Wednesday, September 7 on Delta flight 1194 at 3:55. Everyone is welcome to come meet Kwasi!

Big changes coming

Duh. Of course big changes are coming. We know what changes are coming and are excited/freaked out. Kwasi however, doesn't know. At nineteen months, he likely doesn't even know that he is being adopted, that soon he will leave his home and come live with us.

Having Esinam with us the past two weeks has made us realize even more, just how much will be changing around him.

Example: Today Esinam saw a baseball mitt and asked what it was. A baseball mitt. At 17 she did not know what a baseball mitt is. Everything she sees and touches is new for her. It's exciting for a young girl experiencing the world, but for an almost 2 year old... how can it be anything other than terrifying? Everywhere he looks, he will see something that his young eyes have never seen before. Even the floor that he will walk on will be foreign to him - he has never seen hardwood flooring, an electric stove, a garage. Can you imagine hearing a vacuum for the first time in your life - or mommy using the hair dryer - the clothes dryer?!

Just a week and a half until we go get our son and bring him home forever. I hope that we are able to provide the comfort and safe feeling that he will need during this transition.

It's real

I did it. I booked our tickets. We are going to pick up our son and bring him home. It's crazy.

We leave in less than 2 weeks - September 8th at the crack of dawn. We will barely be there since we arrive the 9th at noon and leave again on the 11th at 10pm, but that's how it worked out with airline prices and our family schedule.

We'll arrive home Monday at 11 am. Chris leaves us Wednesday at 8am for a business trip returning Sunday night!! Esinam leaves us Thursday and Friday for a field trip-thing.

Not an ideal first week for Kwasi to get adjusted, but it will have to do. At least Carter and I will be with him 24/7 to start to bond. After the craziness of the 1st week home, things should get on track with our "new normal".

Since it will be a bit crazy the first week, we are going to keep to ourselves without visitors to lessen the confusion for Kwasi. We don't want a lot of coming and goings to get him wondering who is permanent and who isn't. If you are just DYING to meet him (you know you are), you are welcome to meet us at the airport when we arrive and welcome him as we wait for our bags and chit chat a bit. Details to follow.

I can't believe I'm going to have him here to hugs and squeeze any time I want forever (or at least 17 years).

What is IN these suitcases?!

***Pics to come
I had a great lunch today with some awesome people! In addition to the monetary donations that some very generous friends and family made, Christina and Sommer went out of their way to purchase a TON of school supplies AND bags for me to take them to Ghana in!!!!! After dropping Esinam at soccer try-outs, Carter and I got to work counting and sorting supplies and packing them up for easy distribution once in Ghana.

Here is what is in the bags so far:

Flip flops: 47 pair
Spiral notebooks: 130
Pens: 330
Pencils: 220
Erasers: 4
Erasers for the tops of pencils: 470
Rulers: 46
Colored pencils: 23 packs of 10 and 2 packs of 72
Scissors: 12
Glue sticks: 26
Rubberbands: 10 packages
Folders: 20
composition notebooks: 16
Loose-leaf lined paper: 10 packs
pencil sharpeners: 14
Manuscript tablets: 5
and some colorful learning tools to hang up on walls

Whew! That took a while to type out. The bags are heavy, but we managed to sort so that each of the 4 bags weighs just barely less than then 50 lb limit. We also have some clothes that will be going over, but I haven't sorted yet and of course, I'll have to weigh the bags again once they are added.

Thank you to everyone who has helped us to gather these donations or has provided funding. I cannot wait to be able to deliver these to the orphanages on your behalf!

It's happening

I can't believe it is really happening. Our POA was told today at the embassy that Kwasi's visa will be granted and will be printed soon. I really just can't believe it.

This has seemed like such a long journey and yet, I know, start to finish it will have been less than 13 months. That is INCREDIBLY short for international adoption. I think the reason is seems extra long is that we have known about Kwasi, seen his face, since January 25th. So, of the 13 months, almost 8 months of them have been spent thinking of him and not an unknown child. Each month has passed and we have missed watching him grow. During this time, we have received photos from two traveling friends and we took some ourselves during our trip in July. That is a long time to know who your son is without being able to be with him and receiving almost no photos or video. In many other countries, the wait for a referral is longer, but you only have to wait 3-4 months to bring them home.

At any rate, it's almost over. We'll be brining him home within the next few weeks and he'll be ours forever.

I still can't believe it.

At the Roberts house...

I'm excited/nervous for tomorrow when our POA will go back to the embassy with the requested photos of us WITH Kwasi and a new POA document that includes his date of birth. I'm so hoping they say "looks good, tell the parents to head on over!".

In other news...

Esinam is adjusting surprisingly well to everything! The amount of new stuff that has been thrown at this girl is incredible. I've studied abroad twice myself, but can't compare anything to what she is doing here. I mean, EVERY LITTLE THING is new and she doesn't bat an eye. I'm so impressed!

Carter... well, he is a mess. OK. It's not THAT bad, but I usually have a pretty perfect 2 year old. He almost never has fits or meltdowns, takes naps no problem, goes to bed no problem, etc. Since Esinam arrived, we have had multiple fits every day and nap/nighttime are a wreck filled with crying and fits. He has also gotten a little snotty with her a few times when she has tried to help him in our place.

I realize this is his way of getting attention that used to be only his and now he shares with Esinam. We have given him extra comfort and patience (with the exception of how he treats Esinam as he is expected to be nice to everyone) this past week as he learns to adjust, but I think this week we have to go back to our normal parenting. We normally don't put up with any tantrums. As frustrating as it has been, I'm so glad that we have Esinam as "practice" for when Kwasi comes home. He is learning to share mommy and daddy and EVERYONE else before Kwasi gets here. I'm sure we will have a reaction from Carter when Kwasi arrives, but I feel good knowing that we are easing him into it a bit. Yes, Esinam needs our attention, but not half as much as Kwasi will.

Updates

The paperwork arrived safely in Ghana today!

I also updated our family blog about Esinam's transition.

4:57 a.m.

I won't keep you in suspense. The interview went.. well, okay, fine, overall good.

I kept waking up all night for brief moments and would think to myself "oh no, he hasn't call yet. Is that bad?"

Then, at 4:57 a.m. He called! He said he had good news and that the interview went very well! However, he needs me to FedEx him a new Power of Attorney document that includes Kwasi's date of birth (he has never needed this included before so, he had our POA without the date of birth) and photos of us WITH Kwasi. If I can get it all to him, he will be granted another appointment next Tuesday.

To some this may seem... not good. The thing is, this could have gone 100 different ways. The fact that they are asking for specific items, items that are very easy to get and make sense (the photos will prove that we have met him and are fully aware of the child we are adopting), to me, is a very good sign. Hopefully, they will grant the visa next Tuesday when they receive these items.

Of course, I've been up since 4:57. I've ordered the photos, created the new POA and am now just waiting for the rest of Washington to get up and out of bed so that I can pick the photos up and get the POA notarized ;)

2 1/2 hours

Only 2 1/2 hours until the big embassy appointment. I'm a nervous wreck! We've been praying hard and I know many of you have as well. Thank you! I really hope I have the most amazing wake up call in the middle of the night or early morning. We could use one step of this adoption going smoothly!

Another possible delay

My heart broke in two today when I read that another family was told that it will be 1-2 months from their appointment until their visa is printed. It has been fairly consistent that it takes 1-3 weeks. Please keep praying that everything is "normal" for our process. Kwasi has been ours according to the Ghana government since March 17th. I can't believe that our government is the one responsible for so much waiting.

1 week

In 1 week (actually less than that if you consider that it is 9 pm right now), Kwasi has his visa interview appointment. I can't believe it is almost here. I'm so nervous about it. They will either ask for his passport to print his visa or ask for more information/documentation. If they take his visa, I will breathe my first sigh of relief in one year. We will then be able to figure out when we get to go get him and start to plan our trip!

I got word today that his passport was picked up and his medical was done. The passport has actually been ready since July 20th, but why pick it up before you need it, right ;)

Ghana bound

115 notebooks, 45 pair of flip flops and $300 left to spend on donations. Not a bad start. Not bad at all! Special thanks to CeAnne, the Westlunds, my mom, Christina and Sommer for all the help!

Waiting for Kwasi

We finally have some sun in the Pacific NW so we went for a walk at a park tonight. Some subtle reminders that we are waiting for Kwasi to get home:


Me: Carter, look at the clouds! Aren't they pretty?
Carter: Yeah. Kiki put them for me.
Me: Kiki put the clouds there for you?
Carter: Yeah. Kiki put them up high a me ("a" is used in place of "for" or "the" often")

****************************
Chris: Carter, look! There are two bunnies! Do you see them?
Carter: Yeah! Carter and Kiki!
Chris: The bunnies are Carter and Kiki?
Carter: Yeah!

****************************

Oh, Kwasi! You are so loved already!

Counting our blessings

There have been many twists and turns to our adoption. We started with an agency working in Ethiopia. The agency was great and we got connected with other parents that were in-process. One of these mothers and I got to talking quite a bit via email as we were RIGHT at the same point in the process. We were neck and neck wondering who would get their dossier done first and get on the wait list ahead of the other.

God had other plans for us and before we completed our paperwork a few twists took us to Ghana. It was a scary leap at that time. There weren't many people adopting from Ghana and everyone said you had to be a "pioneer" to do it. I still have no idea why we did it other than to say it had to have been a "God thing". Just a couple weeks after our decision, things got rocky for adoptions in Ethiopia. Adoptions continued and actually, I was just thinking the other day of those families who received their referrals after us, but because they are in Ethiopia, might bring their kids home at the same time we bring Kwasi home.

Today, I am really counting our blessings. Yes, it has been a long process to bring Kwasi home, but I feel like we are near the end. Today, my heart hurts for the other family that we were in-process with. When they received their referral for a sweet baby boy recently, it had me thinking.. that MIGHT have been our son had we stayed with the program. If we had gotten our paperwork in just day before them, he would have been our referral. Then again, they might have been 1st and received his referral and we would be getting our referral shortly after and likely traveling with this family. Today.. oh, there just aren't words to say how I hurt for them.

The Ethiopian governments just closed 15 orphanages. Depending on where the children were in the process, families can either proceed or the child has been taken from the home and their future is uncertain other than that they will not be moving forward with their current adoption plans. This family is one that was not far enough along. After waiting for their referral and falling in love with his photos, they have been told that they will not be bringing him home and will go back on the wait list.

So, today, I'm counting my blessing. I don't know why God steered us the way he did, but I know more than ever that Kwasi has been part of His plan all along. There is nothing random or coincidental about the process. There is no "what could have been" as it simply never could have been. We have been spared the enormous pain that these families are going through right now and for that I'm grateful. Please keep these families and children in your prayers.

Kwasi FAQ

I know, I know. I haven't shared too many details since we got home. It just seems like we have been so busy! So, here is a very brief briefing for those of you I have spoken to yet.

We were very blessed to be able to have Kwasi and his foster mother stay with us during our entire stay. Legally, he is our son and we could have just taken him for those days, but we didn't want to disrupt his life completely or traumatize him unnecessarily so, we rented a 2 bedroom house (for cheaper than a single hotel room FYI) and had him stay with his foster mother. It worked out great! Yes, his foster mother speaks English so, we did not have a translator.

Our most commonly asked questions:

Q: Kwasi? Coen? What WILL you call him?
A: We spent 4 1/2 days calling him Kwasi and it is the name that he has used for a year and a half even though it has always been his middle name so, we'll likely continue to call him Kwasi when he gets here. Then again, maybe we'll call him Coen Kwasi and slowly lose the Kwasi... So, I guess feel free to call him either one until we figure out what he thinks about it all.

Q: Does he speak English?
A: He doesn't "speak" much of anything since he's 18 months, but he actually says more than Carter did at 18 months. While we were there he waved and said "bye-bye" and also copied us on a few other words. Just randomly he would repeat something someone said.

Q: How did he interact with you?
A: The first 24 hours we can to watch him from across the room, but then he slowly got used to us and by the 2nd to last day, he was walking into our room in the morning to say hello and letting us pick him up, hold him, tickle him and play with him. He even cried for daddy when we left him to nap while we went to deliver donations to a couple of orphanages.

Carter and Kwasi

Carter:
Smiles ALL the time
Has to sleep in his own bed or he has trouble sleeping
Sleeps all night
Rubs his eyes when he's tired
Tell him "no" and the thought that he has been naughty might bring him to tears
He will go to anyone. Seriously. He would go home with a complete stranger if they just smile at him

Kwasi:
He makes you work for a smile
Pretty sure he would FREAK about a crib, he currently just grabs a blanket and passes out on any floor at nap time.
Gets up around midnight to eat and then wakes in the morning around 4:30 or 5
Scratches his head when he's tired
Tell him "no" and he gives you his best "just watch me" look (He actually sounds a lot like me when I was his age)
He needs a good 24 hours before he is OK letting you sit near him. Until then, you can stay on your side of the room thank-you-very-much!

What they have in common? They both adore daddy and want to do everything that he does!

More news...

I'm fully of news today.

You'll have to check out our family blog for this bit since it isn't really adoption related, but definitely Ghana/Kwasi related.

http://therobertshouse.blogspot.com/2011/07/yes-were-little-crazy.html

Waiting to hurry

Now that we are getting closer to the BIG trip, I'm frantically thinking of all the things that I really should have done before becoming a mom of a 1 and 2 year old. The biggest thing on my list is making sure that we are as stress-free when we return as possible. I don't want to come home to an empty refrigerator and find myself taking 2 small children to the grocery while being jet-lagged especially since Kwasi has never been in a grocery store before (talk about traumatic - you first ever experience with Walmart after 24 hours of traveling?!)

So, while I'm still ahead of the game, I'd love to try to gather some recipes from all of you that would be good to make ahead of time and freeze so that all I have to do is pop it in the oven. We just scored a chest freezer for our garage at our neighbors garage sale so I'm TOTALLY ready!