We got our adoption decree today! Yeah!
Turns out not so "yeah"..
As I read through it, it stated a birthdate in April. April?! I was told January 31st. Could he really be that young? No.
I checked the calendar. The new date was a Tuesday. Kwasi means "born on a Sunday".
One call to our coordinator cleared it up. It was a clerical error. He MAY be able to fix it. He might not. So, our son's date of birth is january 31st, but all of his legal documents might say an April date. Ugh! At least it won't effect things like school registration.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
An original name
I know that there is no such thing as an original idea, but we really thought that Coen was fairly unique. When we've told people that our son's name is Coen, they seem as if they haven't heard the name and ask how it will be spelled. Some say, "oh, like the Coen brothers!" but otherwise, not much recognition.
We kind of got the same response with Carter's name. About 2 weeks after he was born however, we were out and saw a mother yell to her 4 year old "Carter, time to go!". Hmpf. Not too unique. Since then even more Carters have popped up.
So, today at church, we were looking around the Sunday school room which is also a preschool and we're pretty bummed when we saw "Koen" on a cubby. I wonder how many Koen, Coen, Cohen, Cowan, Cowens, we'll come across.
Out of curiosity, I googled "Coen Roberts". I only found one, he's in the Netherlands. With a last name like Roberts, I don't know why I thought any name we choose wouldn't already belong to someone else. You can imagine how many Heather Roberts there are.. In fact, in kindergarden, I had a friend named Heather Roberts.
Hmm.. How about using his middle name, Kwasi? Can you believe there were more Kwasi Roberts than Coen Roberts?! I found at least 3 on Facebook alone.
At least he will be the only Coen Kwasi Roberts in our household. :)
We kind of got the same response with Carter's name. About 2 weeks after he was born however, we were out and saw a mother yell to her 4 year old "Carter, time to go!". Hmpf. Not too unique. Since then even more Carters have popped up.
So, today at church, we were looking around the Sunday school room which is also a preschool and we're pretty bummed when we saw "Koen" on a cubby. I wonder how many Koen, Coen, Cohen, Cowan, Cowens, we'll come across.
Out of curiosity, I googled "Coen Roberts". I only found one, he's in the Netherlands. With a last name like Roberts, I don't know why I thought any name we choose wouldn't already belong to someone else. You can imagine how many Heather Roberts there are.. In fact, in kindergarden, I had a friend named Heather Roberts.
Hmm.. How about using his middle name, Kwasi? Can you believe there were more Kwasi Roberts than Coen Roberts?! I found at least 3 on Facebook alone.
At least he will be the only Coen Kwasi Roberts in our household. :)
Friday, March 25, 2011
F.A.Q.: Coen
Inquiring minds want to know so, why not share here?
What's next?
We are working on getting his birth certificate and the adoption decree. Then, we'll apply for our I-600 and his passport. Once we have both, we can get his visa from the embassy and bring him home.
How many more trips will we make?
Just 1 to bring him home!
When will he be home?
Hopefully soon! Realistically, we are thinking 3 months or so.
Who is that woman in all the photos with him?
His amazing foster mom. She is taking such good care of him and he adores her. He has been with her since the beginning of February.
Where was he before?
We'll be keeping all of his social history private for now. We want him to hear it all from us in an appropriate manner. Thank you for understanding.
Is he in an orphanage?
Nope. He is living with a foster mom who is dedicated just to him, no other children. We are so blessed to have this set up by our coordinator.
What is the age difference between him and Carter?
Carter is just 13 months older.
How is Carter doing with all the exciting news?
He seems pretty excited for being barely over 2 years old. He calls his brother "ki ki" for Kwasi. When I suggested he call him Coen, he called him "coco". Any time he sees and African child, he points and says "ki ki" including the UjimaCare logo :) so, he's not completely getting it, but he does know that "ki ki" is his brother and he has an idea what he looks like.
We've also talked about where he will sleep. On most days, Carter points to the nursery when asked where his brother will sleep and says something like "ki ki baby night-night". On other days, he insists that his brother will sleep in the big boy room and he will sleep in the crib "Ca ca baby".
He really does seem excited and will randomly call out to "ki ki" so, I had to tell him that he is not here yet, he's in Africa. This resulted in a pretty sad sounding, "oh" including a pouty lip. Now, when I ask where his brother is, he tells me "Apica". It is so stinkin' cute.
What's next?
We are working on getting his birth certificate and the adoption decree. Then, we'll apply for our I-600 and his passport. Once we have both, we can get his visa from the embassy and bring him home.
How many more trips will we make?
Just 1 to bring him home!
When will he be home?
Hopefully soon! Realistically, we are thinking 3 months or so.
Who is that woman in all the photos with him?
His amazing foster mom. She is taking such good care of him and he adores her. He has been with her since the beginning of February.
Where was he before?
We'll be keeping all of his social history private for now. We want him to hear it all from us in an appropriate manner. Thank you for understanding.
Is he in an orphanage?
Nope. He is living with a foster mom who is dedicated just to him, no other children. We are so blessed to have this set up by our coordinator.
What is the age difference between him and Carter?
Carter is just 13 months older.
How is Carter doing with all the exciting news?
He seems pretty excited for being barely over 2 years old. He calls his brother "ki ki" for Kwasi. When I suggested he call him Coen, he called him "coco". Any time he sees and African child, he points and says "ki ki" including the UjimaCare logo :) so, he's not completely getting it, but he does know that "ki ki" is his brother and he has an idea what he looks like.
We've also talked about where he will sleep. On most days, Carter points to the nursery when asked where his brother will sleep and says something like "ki ki baby night-night". On other days, he insists that his brother will sleep in the big boy room and he will sleep in the crib "Ca ca baby".
He really does seem excited and will randomly call out to "ki ki" so, I had to tell him that he is not here yet, he's in Africa. This resulted in a pretty sad sounding, "oh" including a pouty lip. Now, when I ask where his brother is, he tells me "Apica". It is so stinkin' cute.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Exhausted!
We started our weekend with a pretty big party at our place, followed it by driving 1.5 hours to Chris' parents' to throw another party and driving home. Yesterday, Carter and I made the drive again so that I could give a presentation to the local Rotary Club about UjimaCare. Every bit of it was fun and exciting, but I'm exhausted! So exhausted in fact that I'm just going to link to my mom's blog post about the party we threw.
Check it out here.
and here
We are fortunate that we don't need anything (besides one more car seat) to be ready to bring Coen home, but a shower is a fun part of any baby's anticipated arrival. So, this was a fun way to keep the excitement of a new baby and raise money for a good cause. We raised about $1200!
If anyone else is adopting and would be interested in throwing a "shower" to support UjimaCare, I would be more than happy to supply you with all the templates to recreate the party. Just shoot me an email! Heather_Roberts@ujimacare.org
Check it out here.
and here
We are fortunate that we don't need anything (besides one more car seat) to be ready to bring Coen home, but a shower is a fun part of any baby's anticipated arrival. So, this was a fun way to keep the excitement of a new baby and raise money for a good cause. We raised about $1200!
If anyone else is adopting and would be interested in throwing a "shower" to support UjimaCare, I would be more than happy to supply you with all the templates to recreate the party. Just shoot me an email! Heather_Roberts@ujimacare.org
Monday, March 21, 2011
Introducing...
We can finally share all the details about our little man, Coen Kwasi Roberts. He just turned 1 on January 31st.
You can see photos and video of him from my recent trip below!
You can see photos and video of him from my recent trip below!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Oh the joys of adoption
So we passed court, AWESOME news! News that can only be tainted by Wells Fargo employees. Since we passed court, it is time to wire over our 2nd payment so that our agent is able to pay for all the rest of the fees from here on out.
We have 2 bank accounts: 1 at Chase and 1 at Wells Fargo.
Chase is closer to our house so, I wanted to go there, BUT Wells Fargo did the last transfer and it went flawlessly so, I figured I would just take in the exact form that they used, they could copy it letter by letter and this transfer would go smoothly as well. So, I drove the extra bit to get to Wells Fargo.
I met with a banker immediate and gave her the form explaining that I needed the EXACT same transfer, but in a different amount. After about 10 minutes she starts asking for a different address to input into her system for Ghana. I explained AGAIN that this is how they did it last time and it worked so could she please copy it EXACTLY as she sees it.
Nope. No can do. She has decided that she needs a physical address on the form and the one we used last time was a P.O.Box.
Even my 2 year-old was getting frustrated now. We left, drove to the other Wells Fargo bank and they copied it exactly and we were out of there in about 15 minutes. Although, they did charge $10 more than last time... By this point I didn't care.
Why do some people insist on adding to the frustration of an already difficult process? I really don't think I could have made it any easier on this woman. All I asked her to do was copy a form.
Chase, looks like you are in the lead for my least hated bank now.
We have 2 bank accounts: 1 at Chase and 1 at Wells Fargo.
Chase is closer to our house so, I wanted to go there, BUT Wells Fargo did the last transfer and it went flawlessly so, I figured I would just take in the exact form that they used, they could copy it letter by letter and this transfer would go smoothly as well. So, I drove the extra bit to get to Wells Fargo.
I met with a banker immediate and gave her the form explaining that I needed the EXACT same transfer, but in a different amount. After about 10 minutes she starts asking for a different address to input into her system for Ghana. I explained AGAIN that this is how they did it last time and it worked so could she please copy it EXACTLY as she sees it.
Nope. No can do. She has decided that she needs a physical address on the form and the one we used last time was a P.O.Box.
Even my 2 year-old was getting frustrated now. We left, drove to the other Wells Fargo bank and they copied it exactly and we were out of there in about 15 minutes. Although, they did charge $10 more than last time... By this point I didn't care.
Why do some people insist on adding to the frustration of an already difficult process? I really don't think I could have made it any easier on this woman. All I asked her to do was copy a form.
Chase, looks like you are in the lead for my least hated bank now.
We have officially grown!
Our family is officially larger today. That's right, your prayers worked, we passed court!
Next steps:
Get birth certificate, apply for our I-600, apply for a passport, once we have everything, fly over and attend a visa interview and bring our ******* home!
Next steps:
Get birth certificate, apply for our I-600, apply for a passport, once we have everything, fly over and attend a visa interview and bring our ******* home!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Some thoughts..
I'm part of quite a few different "adoption groups". Groups that provide information and "support" to other adoptive families. These groups are where I have found answers to many questions about the process we are going through and where I have connected with other moms who share the same feelings and emotions I'm going through. They have been great. Mostly..
These groups also come with some members who are very opinionated. I'm usually all for everyone having their own opinion, but there is one that I have a very hard time understanding. It is the idea that it is always best for a child to stay in their native country regardless of any other factor.
Case in point: A woman gives birth to a child and makes the decision to have it adopted. She decides that she wants her child adopted by an American family.
This came up in a group and I was very surprised at the response. It was basically that the woman should not give her child for adoption unless there is absolutely NO way she can keep the child. So, as long as she can skimp by on 1GHC per day, she should not have the child adopted. 2nd, if she does have the child adopted, it should only be to a family in Ghana.
Here are my thoughts:
When a 16 year old gets knocked up in the states, we praise her for making a selfless decision if she chooses adoption giving her child a better life than she can provide. But, if a women in Ghana decides that she wants better for her newborn, Americans should not participate in this by adopting the child. How does this make sense? American women should have the freedom to make this choice, but a Ghanaian women shouldn't?
Understand, I'm not referring to a woman who would keep the child if she had a steady income. I'm referring to a women who, even if given assistance, would prefer for her child to be adopted. This could be because the child is a result of rape or prostitution. Perhaps, she simply cannot fathom having what it takes to be a mother to a 5th child. Whatever the case, I'm referring to a woman making a choice when she potentially could make it work if she wanted to raise her child.
If she does go through with the adoption, she should be forced to give her child to someone in Ghana. This might be fine, but for some reason (true or not) some Ghanaians have the perception that children adopted in Ghana will be treated as 2nd rate and not really part of the family. Not to mention, they have the idea that a child in the US will receive a superior education. Whether or not there is any sort of truth to this, I don't understand why she can't make the decision for herself: Ghana, Spain, UK, US, wherever.
I cannot imagine making the decision to give my child to someone else to raise. If I had to do this, I would pray that I had some say in who would raise him. I feel fortunate to live in the US and would be fine with my child living here if I could not raise him, but would I be OK if I was told that he would be taken to a 3rd world country where medical care is scare, access to clean water scarce as well, and malaria is a constant concern? Honestly, probably not.
So, I can understand a woman's thoughts if she lives in a country like this and is considering the choice of international adoption.
All of this said, I think it is extremely important for an internationally adopted child to understand their native culture and know their country. Chris and I plan to do the best we can in this area. We feel blessed knowing that we are becoming part of a larger family, a Ghanaian family. One that trusts us with their most precious gift. And, in the end, no one else's opinion on the matter matters.
So, I'm turning the comments off on this post.
These groups also come with some members who are very opinionated. I'm usually all for everyone having their own opinion, but there is one that I have a very hard time understanding. It is the idea that it is always best for a child to stay in their native country regardless of any other factor.
Case in point: A woman gives birth to a child and makes the decision to have it adopted. She decides that she wants her child adopted by an American family.
This came up in a group and I was very surprised at the response. It was basically that the woman should not give her child for adoption unless there is absolutely NO way she can keep the child. So, as long as she can skimp by on 1GHC per day, she should not have the child adopted. 2nd, if she does have the child adopted, it should only be to a family in Ghana.
Here are my thoughts:
When a 16 year old gets knocked up in the states, we praise her for making a selfless decision if she chooses adoption giving her child a better life than she can provide. But, if a women in Ghana decides that she wants better for her newborn, Americans should not participate in this by adopting the child. How does this make sense? American women should have the freedom to make this choice, but a Ghanaian women shouldn't?
Understand, I'm not referring to a woman who would keep the child if she had a steady income. I'm referring to a women who, even if given assistance, would prefer for her child to be adopted. This could be because the child is a result of rape or prostitution. Perhaps, she simply cannot fathom having what it takes to be a mother to a 5th child. Whatever the case, I'm referring to a woman making a choice when she potentially could make it work if she wanted to raise her child.
If she does go through with the adoption, she should be forced to give her child to someone in Ghana. This might be fine, but for some reason (true or not) some Ghanaians have the perception that children adopted in Ghana will be treated as 2nd rate and not really part of the family. Not to mention, they have the idea that a child in the US will receive a superior education. Whether or not there is any sort of truth to this, I don't understand why she can't make the decision for herself: Ghana, Spain, UK, US, wherever.
I cannot imagine making the decision to give my child to someone else to raise. If I had to do this, I would pray that I had some say in who would raise him. I feel fortunate to live in the US and would be fine with my child living here if I could not raise him, but would I be OK if I was told that he would be taken to a 3rd world country where medical care is scare, access to clean water scarce as well, and malaria is a constant concern? Honestly, probably not.
So, I can understand a woman's thoughts if she lives in a country like this and is considering the choice of international adoption.
All of this said, I think it is extremely important for an internationally adopted child to understand their native culture and know their country. Chris and I plan to do the best we can in this area. We feel blessed knowing that we are becoming part of a larger family, a Ghanaian family. One that trusts us with their most precious gift. And, in the end, no one else's opinion on the matter matters.
So, I'm turning the comments off on this post.
Thank you
A big shout out to all of you who prayed for electricity! The report was printed, the lawyer contacted so... there is no reason that court should not happen tomorrow. Of course, this is Ghana so... I'm sure there are plenty of reasons that it might get delayed so... more prayers requested.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Pray for electricity
Apparently we are waiting on a report from Social Welfare that is ready, but still needs to be printed. The problem is, the electricity is out over there again. PLEASE pray that the electricity is on tomorrow so that they can print the document and we can go to court on Thursday!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
UjimaCare Foundation Orphanage
UjimaCare Foundation Orphanage
Such amazing process in just the couple of days that I was at the construction site. This will be an amazing home for a number of children. If you would like to help, you can click "donate" on the right side of this page to donate directly to the construction of the orphanage in Kwahu, Ghana.
Such amazing process in just the couple of days that I was at the construction site. This will be an amazing home for a number of children. If you would like to help, you can click "donate" on the right side of this page to donate directly to the construction of the orphanage in Kwahu, Ghana.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
No court...
I'm so bummed today. 2 weeks ago I was in Ghana and was told that for sure, our case would go to court by today.
Today has come and gone in Ghana. No court. I asked about the delay and was told it was Social Welfare. I asked if it will then take place next week, Tuesday or Thursday..
I was told that we should HOPE it will take place Thursday.
Prayers are appreciated. We need to get past this step so we can move on to the next one!
Today has come and gone in Ghana. No court. I asked about the delay and was told it was Social Welfare. I asked if it will then take place next week, Tuesday or Thursday..
I was told that we should HOPE it will take place Thursday.
Prayers are appreciated. We need to get past this step so we can move on to the next one!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Court...
Tomorrow Kofi is supposed to be representing us in court in Ghana. If you have some extra prayers, please direct them our way. There is so much that could delay the process that having court go smoothly tomorrow would truly be a blessing!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
It's A God Thing
This entire journey has been a lesson in patience. Every step of the way, there is waiting. It can be frustrating and yet, I know that every unexpected turn has been a "God Thing." Do you know what I mean? One of those things that when it happens you wondering WHY? WHY? WHY? and then, later, you completely understand the why.
I can't share all of these occurrences with you yet, but I'll give you my latest example.
I was supposed to leave Ghana Tuesday morning at 9:50. My airport shuttle ran late and I arrived at 8 am. Surely, this would still be plenty of time to board the plane (it is in the U.S. anyway). Nope. In Ghana, they do not let you check-in less than 2 hours before the flight. Even if you are in line waiting. 2 hours before the flight, they shut down and have no problem telling you to rebook for 2 days later.
As you can imagine, I was devastated by this. I was so ready to go home. There were about 15 of us in this position which was enough to cause quite a scene. One of the 15 was a soft spoken sweet natured woman named Agnes. Amist the yelling, Anges asked if I was alone in Ghana. Kofi had already moved on so, yes, I was very much alone. She then offered to let me stay at her house in Ghana. She explained that her husband was from Ghana, but he was back in the U.S. so, I was welcome to stay.
Now, in the U.S. this would have been weird and I would have likely declined. But, for some reason, it didn't even occur to me that this might not be a good idea. God Thing #1. I took her up on her offer and we were off. Her private driver took us back to her "House"...
When we arrived, I honestly asked if it was one house or many apartments.
"No, sweetie. This is one house." She sweetly replied.
She gave me the tour of what i think was a 7 bedroom mansion, all with their own bathrooms, large kitchen, dining room, living room and formal dining room with a baby grand piano. This was definitely a different side of Ghana than I had seen all week.
We kept each other company and got to know each other extremely well as we swapped stories about our travels and lives. It turns out that she lives in Ohio very near where the President of UjimaCare lives. God Thing #2. And, she is very passionate about helping the orphans in Ghana, but has only been able to do medical missions with her husband previously. God thing #3.
We determined within the first hour that we were meant to miss that flight and meet one another. I can only imagine where our friendship will take us, but I do know that had either one of us made that flight, we would not have met.
Thank you Agnes for your generosity in taking in a stray. I can't wait to see what God has planned next.
I can't share all of these occurrences with you yet, but I'll give you my latest example.
I was supposed to leave Ghana Tuesday morning at 9:50. My airport shuttle ran late and I arrived at 8 am. Surely, this would still be plenty of time to board the plane (it is in the U.S. anyway). Nope. In Ghana, they do not let you check-in less than 2 hours before the flight. Even if you are in line waiting. 2 hours before the flight, they shut down and have no problem telling you to rebook for 2 days later.
As you can imagine, I was devastated by this. I was so ready to go home. There were about 15 of us in this position which was enough to cause quite a scene. One of the 15 was a soft spoken sweet natured woman named Agnes. Amist the yelling, Anges asked if I was alone in Ghana. Kofi had already moved on so, yes, I was very much alone. She then offered to let me stay at her house in Ghana. She explained that her husband was from Ghana, but he was back in the U.S. so, I was welcome to stay.
Now, in the U.S. this would have been weird and I would have likely declined. But, for some reason, it didn't even occur to me that this might not be a good idea. God Thing #1. I took her up on her offer and we were off. Her private driver took us back to her "House"...
When we arrived, I honestly asked if it was one house or many apartments.
"No, sweetie. This is one house." She sweetly replied.
She gave me the tour of what i think was a 7 bedroom mansion, all with their own bathrooms, large kitchen, dining room, living room and formal dining room with a baby grand piano. This was definitely a different side of Ghana than I had seen all week.
We kept each other company and got to know each other extremely well as we swapped stories about our travels and lives. It turns out that she lives in Ohio very near where the President of UjimaCare lives. God Thing #2. And, she is very passionate about helping the orphans in Ghana, but has only been able to do medical missions with her husband previously. God thing #3.
We determined within the first hour that we were meant to miss that flight and meet one another. I can only imagine where our friendship will take us, but I do know that had either one of us made that flight, we would not have met.
Thank you Agnes for your generosity in taking in a stray. I can't wait to see what God has planned next.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
