I'm officially at "that point" in my life. I'm a mom, with a small child and I watch Oprah. There, I said it.
Now that it's out there - she recently did an episode about HIV and AIDS today and showed clips from a show she did back in the '80s. It was crazy watching the clips. People were so uneducated and.... well, just stupid. Even with a doctor telling them that they cannot contract HIV by sharing a swimming pool, people still didn't want to be in the same water as an HIV+ man. Oh, and of course, you had to be gay to have HIV.
Flash forward to today. Most people realize that HIV is completely preventable. Most people don't realize however, how manageable it has become. It is no longer a death sentence. I'm not an expert so, I'll stop there, but I will direct you to the blog of a mother of an HIV+ child and an excellent writer.
http://www.gillispiefam.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
An emotional day.. or maybe week
Lately, almost anything almost gets me crying. It is killing me to know about this little girl in Ghana and not be able to go get her. What's killing me more? The agency we are working with is not being very helpful. Well, maybe that's not the way to put it. They aren't helping AT ALL. There are only 4 people on staff, but only one is able to answer any questions. When the others answer, the answer contradicts his answer. I can't get him to return my calls as he is always in a meeting.
So, here I am.. with a ton of questions and not a single answer feeling very alone in this process. This is why we have an agency - or so I thought - to have someone to answer questions and guide us through. Part of me thinks I'm freaking out unnecessarily, but a huge part of me says "What am I paying you for if you can't return my calls or get me the information I'm asking for?". Sadly, I don't have an answer to that question. So, I guess if I don't get any further in the next day or so, we'll be forced to move on to another agency.
It has almost been 2 weeks since we saw her photo and were told that they were requesting more information about her. We've received no additional information.
It breaks my heart to think that we might not bring Little Miss home. I'm already so attached to her, but if we switch agencies, it will likely mean that we can no longer pursue adopting her. I just wish that God would speak a little louder about what we are supposed to do.
So, here I am.. with a ton of questions and not a single answer feeling very alone in this process. This is why we have an agency - or so I thought - to have someone to answer questions and guide us through. Part of me thinks I'm freaking out unnecessarily, but a huge part of me says "What am I paying you for if you can't return my calls or get me the information I'm asking for?". Sadly, I don't have an answer to that question. So, I guess if I don't get any further in the next day or so, we'll be forced to move on to another agency.
It has almost been 2 weeks since we saw her photo and were told that they were requesting more information about her. We've received no additional information.
It breaks my heart to think that we might not bring Little Miss home. I'm already so attached to her, but if we switch agencies, it will likely mean that we can no longer pursue adopting her. I just wish that God would speak a little louder about what we are supposed to do.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Family of 4 by Christmas?
We have our tree up and the house is decorated with the exception of our stockings. We know we won't bring little miss home by Christmas, but if we could just feel more certain that she will be ours soon, we can start acting like a family of 4. I'd love to fill a stocking with adorable headbands and bows!
Where we stand now is that the agency told us that there is no reason to think that we will not be able to adopt little miss. That said, they then told us that we can fill confident in the process once we get her social history - that is, how she came to the orphanage and when. We've been waiting on this information since the 18th. I know we need to be flexible with Ghana-time and that internet communication is slow and sporadic there, but I'm dying to know that I can fall in love with her. Honestly, it's too late for me. I have her 8x10 photo on the fridge and I look at her face at least 10 times a day including right before I go to sleep.
We decided to share the information with some of our family at Thanksgiving and they were thrilled. We had to give them all of the "maybes" involved. Most people probably would have kept this to themselves until they were certain, the same as people waiting until they make it to the 12 week mark of their pregnancy. We're not those people. We don't share to get everyone excited. We share because we are excited and we need love and prayers that God will protect our child and our hearts. We haven't regretted telling anyone "early" yet. We have needed the support from family and friends more times that we would have liked and we may need it again as we go through this journey of adoption.
I've been able to find some support groups made up of adoptive parents of Ghana who can answer questions about the process and what to expect. I've also found a facebook page for the orphanage where we are told that little miss is living. There are numerous volunteers there and they share photos on the page. I haven't seen little miss in any of them yet, but I did see the other little boy that was referred in the same email.
It is just so hard to be so in love with someone you've never met and know that they don't even know you exist. That right now she might be needing a hug after scraping her knee or might be waking from a bad dream without her mother to comfort her. Yep, it's too late for me. I'm attached.
Where we stand now is that the agency told us that there is no reason to think that we will not be able to adopt little miss. That said, they then told us that we can fill confident in the process once we get her social history - that is, how she came to the orphanage and when. We've been waiting on this information since the 18th. I know we need to be flexible with Ghana-time and that internet communication is slow and sporadic there, but I'm dying to know that I can fall in love with her. Honestly, it's too late for me. I have her 8x10 photo on the fridge and I look at her face at least 10 times a day including right before I go to sleep.
We decided to share the information with some of our family at Thanksgiving and they were thrilled. We had to give them all of the "maybes" involved. Most people probably would have kept this to themselves until they were certain, the same as people waiting until they make it to the 12 week mark of their pregnancy. We're not those people. We don't share to get everyone excited. We share because we are excited and we need love and prayers that God will protect our child and our hearts. We haven't regretted telling anyone "early" yet. We have needed the support from family and friends more times that we would have liked and we may need it again as we go through this journey of adoption.
I've been able to find some support groups made up of adoptive parents of Ghana who can answer questions about the process and what to expect. I've also found a facebook page for the orphanage where we are told that little miss is living. There are numerous volunteers there and they share photos on the page. I haven't seen little miss in any of them yet, but I did see the other little boy that was referred in the same email.
It is just so hard to be so in love with someone you've never met and know that they don't even know you exist. That right now she might be needing a hug after scraping her knee or might be waking from a bad dream without her mother to comfort her. Yep, it's too late for me. I'm attached.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Ghana bound!
It's official. We are moving on to Ghana. I'm so excited about the Ghana and about our sweet little girl! So, next steps:
Our dossier for Ethiopia was done and ready for our I-171H from USCIS. From there, we were going to have to get a couple things sealed by the state and then have everything authenticated in D.C.
Ghana changes:
Nothing has to be sealed and nothing has to be notarized so, we save some time there, however, I did have to edit a couple of documents and get the notarized as well as provide some photos of our home. So, yesterday I took care of most of it and I'm hoping we'll be able to get a new doctor's letter in the next day or so.
Our home study is being edited to say "Ghana" instead of "Ethiopia" and we should have that by Monday. Once we have it, we will apply to have the change made with USCIS while we wait on the fingerprints.
Meanwhile, in Ghana, our agency contact is finding out more about Little Miss and starting the paperwork to request a court date. if all goes well, we'll be headed to court in Ghana the minute that we get our I-171H from USICS which should be in the next couple of months.
I can't believe we might be headed to get our child about the same time that we would have just gotten on the wait list for Ethiopia. The family at #2 on the Ethiopia list has been on the list for 4 months - the last 2 they haven't moved at all.
Our dossier for Ethiopia was done and ready for our I-171H from USCIS. From there, we were going to have to get a couple things sealed by the state and then have everything authenticated in D.C.
Ghana changes:
Nothing has to be sealed and nothing has to be notarized so, we save some time there, however, I did have to edit a couple of documents and get the notarized as well as provide some photos of our home. So, yesterday I took care of most of it and I'm hoping we'll be able to get a new doctor's letter in the next day or so.
Our home study is being edited to say "Ghana" instead of "Ethiopia" and we should have that by Monday. Once we have it, we will apply to have the change made with USCIS while we wait on the fingerprints.
Meanwhile, in Ghana, our agency contact is finding out more about Little Miss and starting the paperwork to request a court date. if all goes well, we'll be headed to court in Ghana the minute that we get our I-171H from USICS which should be in the next couple of months.
I can't believe we might be headed to get our child about the same time that we would have just gotten on the wait list for Ethiopia. The family at #2 on the Ethiopia list has been on the list for 4 months - the last 2 they haven't moved at all.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
While we wait...
I know this blog makes it seems like this whole process is just paperwork and to some extent that's true. What I've neglected to post much about is what else we are doing in between paperwork and fingerprinting. Well, for me, this "paper pregnancy" is all consuming. I think about it 24/7. Poor Chris then hears about it every 5 minutes when he's home.
Just like when I was pregnant with Carter, I'm reading a lot and trying to prepare. I don't get people who just go through pregnancy thinking it will come naturally. I'm way too much of a planner. So, I'm reading different books on adoption, international adoption, bi-racial adoption, etc. I also spend at least 1/2 an hour each day reading other adoptive parents' blogs.
The blogs have been by far the most useful. I can tell you on average how long each step in the process takes based on their timelines. I get an idea of what bumps in the road we'll encounter and what to expect when we get to meet our child. It is on these blogs that I've read suggestions on important topics that I can then talk with Chris about. One of these is how much information we will share with others about our child's history.
I've read quite a few blog posts about this and after discussing it with Chris, we definitely agree without any doubt that we will NOT be sharing any details about our child's background with anyone until we are able to share them with our child. So, everyone knows that he/she will come to us from an orphanage. How he or she got there, if his/her parents are alive, if they have any blood-related siblings, etc. will be kept private. Yes, this does include YOU. YOU will not know these details.
This may seem weird to some people. I mean, we did share every detail about Carter's birth and life up until this point. But, what you need to understand is that there is no possible way that our child's story will be a happy one. Think about it. In what circumstance is a child going to an orphanage a happy story? Whether their parents are alive or not, they are no longer together. And, I can promise you that these children were not taken away from horrible parents who have mistreated them as might be the case in the U.S. There are far too many orphans for the government to be adding to the number through child protective services.
It's important for us to be able to share their story with them in age appropriate ways. We will never keep the details from our child. We will be as open as they want us to be, answering any questions they ask and encouraging them to feel comfortable talking about their birthparents and home country. We just don't want to find out that our friend's daughter accidentally said something to our child because our friend let something slip to her child. There are just certain conversations that a parent should have with their child. This is definitely one of them.
Just like when I was pregnant with Carter, I'm reading a lot and trying to prepare. I don't get people who just go through pregnancy thinking it will come naturally. I'm way too much of a planner. So, I'm reading different books on adoption, international adoption, bi-racial adoption, etc. I also spend at least 1/2 an hour each day reading other adoptive parents' blogs.
The blogs have been by far the most useful. I can tell you on average how long each step in the process takes based on their timelines. I get an idea of what bumps in the road we'll encounter and what to expect when we get to meet our child. It is on these blogs that I've read suggestions on important topics that I can then talk with Chris about. One of these is how much information we will share with others about our child's history.
I've read quite a few blog posts about this and after discussing it with Chris, we definitely agree without any doubt that we will NOT be sharing any details about our child's background with anyone until we are able to share them with our child. So, everyone knows that he/she will come to us from an orphanage. How he or she got there, if his/her parents are alive, if they have any blood-related siblings, etc. will be kept private. Yes, this does include YOU. YOU will not know these details.
This may seem weird to some people. I mean, we did share every detail about Carter's birth and life up until this point. But, what you need to understand is that there is no possible way that our child's story will be a happy one. Think about it. In what circumstance is a child going to an orphanage a happy story? Whether their parents are alive or not, they are no longer together. And, I can promise you that these children were not taken away from horrible parents who have mistreated them as might be the case in the U.S. There are far too many orphans for the government to be adding to the number through child protective services.
It's important for us to be able to share their story with them in age appropriate ways. We will never keep the details from our child. We will be as open as they want us to be, answering any questions they ask and encouraging them to feel comfortable talking about their birthparents and home country. We just don't want to find out that our friend's daughter accidentally said something to our child because our friend let something slip to her child. There are just certain conversations that a parent should have with their child. This is definitely one of them.
I-600A notification
One of my favorite things in the world right now is getting something adoption related in the mailbox! Yesterday was a good day for it as we got our notification that USCIS received our I-600A form. Now, we just want for another notice telling us when/where to get our fingerprints taken.
Please keep us in mind if you have extra prayers that we get our appointment soon!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
I-600A update
Nothing too big to report except that USCIS cashed our check on Thursday so... hopefully that means that this week we'll get a letter telling us that they are processing our request and maybe even give us a case number.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Are we Ghana or not?
This weekend has been torture for me. We decided Thursday night that we would move forward with adopting Little Miss, but we had a ton of questions. No problem, I would just talk with the agency the next morning. Turns out, that would be a problem.
Everyone was either too busy with meetings or out of the office so, I was asked to email my questions to the director and he will call me on Monday. Not a big deal until I tried to get "basic" information from the agency receptionist.
I asked how many adoptions from Ghana they had completed.
None. It's a pretty new program.
How long has the program been around?
About a year.
And no one has even gotten to go to court?
No, but they started at the beginning and had to do their homestudy, I-600A, etc.
So... a little bit of panic set in. I had already scoured the internet for information and knew that Ghana is fairly new to international adoptions. I think they highest number of adoptions from Ghana to the US in a year has been like 130. total. Ethiopia does like 11,000. So, I knew this, but for some reason I thought this would be different. We have already found our daughter and our dossier (our massive stack of paperwork) is basically done so - court date please. I guess not.
If you know me, you know I've been stressing all weekend. Is this our daughter or not? Can I get attached or not? Too late.
I'm going to talk with the director tomorrow and we will make our final decision. We will either pursue becoming the parents to the cutest little miss you ever did see, or we will stay our path to Ethiopia and anticipate at least 4 months of waiting once our dossier is complete.
God, we could use another sign please.
Everyone was either too busy with meetings or out of the office so, I was asked to email my questions to the director and he will call me on Monday. Not a big deal until I tried to get "basic" information from the agency receptionist.
I asked how many adoptions from Ghana they had completed.
None. It's a pretty new program.
How long has the program been around?
About a year.
And no one has even gotten to go to court?
No, but they started at the beginning and had to do their homestudy, I-600A, etc.
So... a little bit of panic set in. I had already scoured the internet for information and knew that Ghana is fairly new to international adoptions. I think they highest number of adoptions from Ghana to the US in a year has been like 130. total. Ethiopia does like 11,000. So, I knew this, but for some reason I thought this would be different. We have already found our daughter and our dossier (our massive stack of paperwork) is basically done so - court date please. I guess not.
If you know me, you know I've been stressing all weekend. Is this our daughter or not? Can I get attached or not? Too late.
I'm going to talk with the director tomorrow and we will make our final decision. We will either pursue becoming the parents to the cutest little miss you ever did see, or we will stay our path to Ethiopia and anticipate at least 4 months of waiting once our dossier is complete.
God, we could use another sign please.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Big day
I'm going to try my hardest to put today into words, but to do so, I have to tell you some back story.
So, one of Chris' cousins spent some life-changing time in Ghana this summer volunteering at an orphanage. It was at the same time that we decided to adopt from Ethiopia. When she returned, she had all sorts of photos and stories to share. She became pretty attached to two of the children in particular. A little boy and girl sibling group. After a lot of consideration, her parents felt compelled to try to bring the two home to live with them.
Here is where I enter the story.
I got to talking with Chris' aunt and suggested that they should get in touch with the agency doing our home study as they work with Ghana. There are actually very few agencies that work with Ghana as international adoption is not as common there. Time went by and we moved forward with our adoption process.
Now, we can get to today.
I got an email from Chris' aunt today that was a reply from the agency. They might be able to assist them in the hopes of adopting the sibling group, but just in case, he included 4 photos. 2 each of 2 perfect little people. A little girl (12 months) and a little boy (2 1/2).
I can't explain it, but I was immediately pulled to the little girl. The little boy was adorable as well. I called the director and after about 1/2 hour, was overwhelmed with the desire to try to adopt them. Unfortunately, they were not biological siblings and it is difficult to adopt non-related children so, my focus shifted to the little girl alone. I called Chris and spilled my guts and asked him to come home as earlier as he could.
He managed to make it home before 5 which is HUGE!!! We talked about it further and both felt that this must be God pulling us this direction. What are the odds that the person I referred his aunt to would recommend a child so perfect for us at this point in the process? We are far enough in to be moving forward, but not too far to have to backtrack much. We decided to move forward in hopes of adopting from Ghana. There is a lot to work out, but there are actually fewer steps in adopting from Ghana, it is just a little less stable process. So... pros and cons..
Cross your fingers and send some prayers that whatever God has planned for our family will be realized.
So, one of Chris' cousins spent some life-changing time in Ghana this summer volunteering at an orphanage. It was at the same time that we decided to adopt from Ethiopia. When she returned, she had all sorts of photos and stories to share. She became pretty attached to two of the children in particular. A little boy and girl sibling group. After a lot of consideration, her parents felt compelled to try to bring the two home to live with them.
Here is where I enter the story.
I got to talking with Chris' aunt and suggested that they should get in touch with the agency doing our home study as they work with Ghana. There are actually very few agencies that work with Ghana as international adoption is not as common there. Time went by and we moved forward with our adoption process.
Now, we can get to today.
I got an email from Chris' aunt today that was a reply from the agency. They might be able to assist them in the hopes of adopting the sibling group, but just in case, he included 4 photos. 2 each of 2 perfect little people. A little girl (12 months) and a little boy (2 1/2).
I can't explain it, but I was immediately pulled to the little girl. The little boy was adorable as well. I called the director and after about 1/2 hour, was overwhelmed with the desire to try to adopt them. Unfortunately, they were not biological siblings and it is difficult to adopt non-related children so, my focus shifted to the little girl alone. I called Chris and spilled my guts and asked him to come home as earlier as he could.
He managed to make it home before 5 which is HUGE!!! We talked about it further and both felt that this must be God pulling us this direction. What are the odds that the person I referred his aunt to would recommend a child so perfect for us at this point in the process? We are far enough in to be moving forward, but not too far to have to backtrack much. We decided to move forward in hopes of adopting from Ghana. There is a lot to work out, but there are actually fewer steps in adopting from Ghana, it is just a little less stable process. So... pros and cons..
Cross your fingers and send some prayers that whatever God has planned for our family will be realized.
Monday, November 15, 2010
I-600A delivered
Our I-600A was delivered this morning!!! We are really on our way now! Now, we just wait for our fingerprint appointments.
The Baby Shower
It occurred to me yesterday that although I've been updating this blog with the day-to-day activities of our adoption, I haven't shared much about what else is going on. You know, the "feeling" side of things. We really want this blog to help to the entire story to our new son or daughter so, I'm going to try to start sharing a bit more :)
Yesterday I attended a baby shower for a good friend. She is the perfect little pregnant lady - adorable! Her little bump (I guess it is pretty big now at 8 months) just makes her that much more beautiful and she shows it off with very fashionable clothing. It was a beautiful shower with great food, great games and great gifts! Also in attendance were 2 other pregnant women.
I ended up in a group chatting with all 3 of them at the same time and one non-preggers. At some point, the non-preggers looked at me surprised and said "you're pregnant too?!" (Someone must have said something about our new baby coming the same time as theirs). I had to respond "No, but we're expecting!"
Honestly, I love this not being pregnant thing. As they all complained (in a happy-I'm-pregnant sort of way) about their clothes not fitting, leg cramps, morning sickness and hot flashes, I was feeling great, healthy, normal. That said, pregnancy wasn't that bad with Carter and there are things that adoptive moms miss out on. People knowing your "pregnant" for example. Having your bump stick out there and have perfect strangers congratulate you on your upcoming addition. When you're pregnant, it is all that anyone wants to talk about with you. When you're adopting, it only comes up if the right question is asked and then, some people are uncomfortable asking questions or talking about. No one is uncomfortable asking your due date or if you've been sick when you're pregnant.
Standing in that group, it finally hit me that I'm "pregnant" and no one knows unless I tell them. It was kind of sad. I felt like a total outsider in a group of expectant mothers. 2 years from now, our kids will play together, but for now, I'm not really in the group.
Everyday I realize more pros and cons to adoption, but the cons NEVER outweigh the pros. And, everyday we get more excited about bring our newest home!
Yesterday I attended a baby shower for a good friend. She is the perfect little pregnant lady - adorable! Her little bump (I guess it is pretty big now at 8 months) just makes her that much more beautiful and she shows it off with very fashionable clothing. It was a beautiful shower with great food, great games and great gifts! Also in attendance were 2 other pregnant women.
I ended up in a group chatting with all 3 of them at the same time and one non-preggers. At some point, the non-preggers looked at me surprised and said "you're pregnant too?!" (Someone must have said something about our new baby coming the same time as theirs). I had to respond "No, but we're expecting!"
Honestly, I love this not being pregnant thing. As they all complained (in a happy-I'm-pregnant sort of way) about their clothes not fitting, leg cramps, morning sickness and hot flashes, I was feeling great, healthy, normal. That said, pregnancy wasn't that bad with Carter and there are things that adoptive moms miss out on. People knowing your "pregnant" for example. Having your bump stick out there and have perfect strangers congratulate you on your upcoming addition. When you're pregnant, it is all that anyone wants to talk about with you. When you're adopting, it only comes up if the right question is asked and then, some people are uncomfortable asking questions or talking about. No one is uncomfortable asking your due date or if you've been sick when you're pregnant.
Standing in that group, it finally hit me that I'm "pregnant" and no one knows unless I tell them. It was kind of sad. I felt like a total outsider in a group of expectant mothers. 2 years from now, our kids will play together, but for now, I'm not really in the group.
Everyday I realize more pros and cons to adoption, but the cons NEVER outweigh the pros. And, everyday we get more excited about bring our newest home!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Home study DONE!!!
Isn't it beautiful?! I almost cried when I saw it in our stack of mail. And, I only had to go to the mailbox twice today to check for it!!!
Now, as soon as Carter gets up from his nap, we are off to drop our UPS envelope in the drop-box!!!
Now, as soon as Carter gets up from his nap, we are off to drop our UPS envelope in the drop-box!!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The idiot
Who's the idiot who checked the mailbox 4 times today to see if her home study arrived?
Yep. Me.
I love veterans, I just wish the mailman would deliver the mail to my house before celebrating Veteran's Day :)
Yep. Me.
I love veterans, I just wish the mailman would deliver the mail to my house before celebrating Veteran's Day :)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Next steps
Ok. So I know some of you are wondering "You've got the fingerprints, now what?" so, here is what is still ahead:
Our social worker is getting our home study and 6 copies printed by the agency that she contracts with (our agency said we need this many copies). Once done, we'll get a copy in the mail.
The very same day, I'll be sending the home study along with other paperwork (our I-600A) to the USCIS. Then, we wait.
Hopefully soon after, we will get a notice from the USCIS giving us a date/time/location for fingerprinting appointments - I know, here we go again! Once we pass the fingerprinting, they will send us our I-171. This is the final piece of paperwork that we need to complete our dossier!!!!!
We then send 2 documents to the secretary of state to be seal. When we get them back about a week later, we send our dossier to a courier in Washington D.C. who will take it to be authenticated by the embassy.
The paperwork is all sent to our agency and we are on THE WAIT LIST!!!!!!!!!
Long, confusing process. Please cross you fingers, toes and pray that we can buzz right through all of this and get on to that wait list!
From there, it should be 3-9 months until we are matched with our child.
Our social worker is getting our home study and 6 copies printed by the agency that she contracts with (our agency said we need this many copies). Once done, we'll get a copy in the mail.
The very same day, I'll be sending the home study along with other paperwork (our I-600A) to the USCIS. Then, we wait.
Hopefully soon after, we will get a notice from the USCIS giving us a date/time/location for fingerprinting appointments - I know, here we go again! Once we pass the fingerprinting, they will send us our I-171. This is the final piece of paperwork that we need to complete our dossier!!!!!
We then send 2 documents to the secretary of state to be seal. When we get them back about a week later, we send our dossier to a courier in Washington D.C. who will take it to be authenticated by the embassy.
The paperwork is all sent to our agency and we are on THE WAIT LIST!!!!!!!!!
Long, confusing process. Please cross you fingers, toes and pray that we can buzz right through all of this and get on to that wait list!
From there, it should be 3-9 months until we are matched with our child.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
New information
Here's a little update about a portion of the process that has changed a bit - our agency just sent this along to everyone "in-process"
1) Court Procedure- When the court process changed in May of this year, two court hearings were being scheduled. The purpose of the first one was to have the birth parent's testimony approved and to obtain approval from MOWA. The purpose of the second one was for the adoptive parents to verify that they have met their child and wish to proceed with the adoption. The adoption was then finalized.
As of last week, there is only one hearing automatically being scheduled. This hearing will include all aspects that that the two hearings originally covered. We are not sure exactly what this will look like but assume that the birth parent will complete their portion and then the adoptive parents will complete theirs after the birth parent has left the court room.
There are at least two benefits to this change. First of all, this will move the process along and ultimately allow your children to come home sooner because you will not need to wait for that second hearing. Secondly, the meeting between you and the birth parent would take place in Addis, at our AAI office, after the court hearing. This means less uncertainty with whether or not the birth parent meeting can take place than if you met them in the South.
The negative or risk with traveling to Ethiopia and attending this hearing is the slight possibility of the case not being approved and the permanently closed. This would be extremely rare, however, the risk is there.
If, for example, MOWA did not submit their letter of consent on time for the court hearing, this will be accepted later and neither the birth parent or the adoptive parents will need to re-appear in court. This result of this would be a possible delay in the case, although, this delay would typically be not more than a couple weeks.
If the adoptive family is not comfortable with the risk involved with having just the one hearing, the court is allowing, as of now anyway, a second hearing to be scheduled.
It will be at the time that you accept your referral that we will ask if you would like to attend the one hearing or if you would prefer that two hearings be scheduled.
2) Meeting Birth Parents - A couple months ago we were informed that, due to government restrictions and safety concerns, a birth parent meeting was not possible if your child was from the South and residing at EnatAlem or Africa Orphanage. We are pleased to tell you that in most cases, this meeting will be possible, afterall. As stated above, if you attend the court hearing the same day as the birth parent, this meeting will take place at our AAI office in Addis, after court. If you do not attend that hearing, we will do everything possible to make this meeting possible when you travel South on your trip.
3) The courts are requiring that both parents, if applicable,attend the court hearing. We were told initially that there would be exceptions to this requirement, but they would need to be extreme situations, such a inability to travel due to medical condition. The courts are now allowing "less extreme" exceptions. An example would be if you currently have 5 young children at home and it is very difficult for both parents to be away from home. There is not a set list of exceptions that will be accepted; it will need to be determined on a case by case basis.
1) Court Procedure- When the court process changed in May of this year, two court hearings were being scheduled. The purpose of the first one was to have the birth parent's testimony approved and to obtain approval from MOWA. The purpose of the second one was for the adoptive parents to verify that they have met their child and wish to proceed with the adoption. The adoption was then finalized.
As of last week, there is only one hearing automatically being scheduled. This hearing will include all aspects that that the two hearings originally covered. We are not sure exactly what this will look like but assume that the birth parent will complete their portion and then the adoptive parents will complete theirs after the birth parent has left the court room.
There are at least two benefits to this change. First of all, this will move the process along and ultimately allow your children to come home sooner because you will not need to wait for that second hearing. Secondly, the meeting between you and the birth parent would take place in Addis, at our AAI office, after the court hearing. This means less uncertainty with whether or not the birth parent meeting can take place than if you met them in the South.
The negative or risk with traveling to Ethiopia and attending this hearing is the slight possibility of the case not being approved and the permanently closed. This would be extremely rare, however, the risk is there.
If, for example, MOWA did not submit their letter of consent on time for the court hearing, this will be accepted later and neither the birth parent or the adoptive parents will need to re-appear in court. This result of this would be a possible delay in the case, although, this delay would typically be not more than a couple weeks.
If the adoptive family is not comfortable with the risk involved with having just the one hearing, the court is allowing, as of now anyway, a second hearing to be scheduled.
It will be at the time that you accept your referral that we will ask if you would like to attend the one hearing or if you would prefer that two hearings be scheduled.
2) Meeting Birth Parents - A couple months ago we were informed that, due to government restrictions and safety concerns, a birth parent meeting was not possible if your child was from the South and residing at EnatAlem or Africa Orphanage. We are pleased to tell you that in most cases, this meeting will be possible, afterall. As stated above, if you attend the court hearing the same day as the birth parent, this meeting will take place at our AAI office in Addis, after court. If you do not attend that hearing, we will do everything possible to make this meeting possible when you travel South on your trip.
3) The courts are requiring that both parents, if applicable,attend the court hearing. We were told initially that there would be exceptions to this requirement, but they would need to be extreme situations, such a inability to travel due to medical condition. The courts are now allowing "less extreme" exceptions. An example would be if you currently have 5 young children at home and it is very difficult for both parents to be away from home. There is not a set list of exceptions that will be accepted; it will need to be determined on a case by case basis.
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